What Oughta Done Me In, Woke Me Up

One a'the most interestin' things can happen to a fella or a lady is havin' their mind torn asunder into seemingly a billion points a'light by ingesting some a'mother nature's very own mushrooms. Now mind me here, these experiences ain't just a laughin' matter though. Each one can give you new insights into your life and life in general, ifns yer ready to allow it in.

Now, after my enlightenment, I took upon myself to try nearly e'ry kinda edible bit of mind-alterin' sweetness what I could find. I recall lookin' through rainy skies as if they was some kaleidescope a'crystals an'light. I remember sitting out under the stars, talkin' to one my favorite cactus plants for o'er sixteen hours. I remember thinkin' that I was married to a cloud, and when I came to my senses some three days later that cloud was gone, and I'd brewed enough sarsaparilla for ten men and women.

But most importantly, I remember seein' my own self from the outside. I had a good long talk with me. I saw the ways I was false and defensive. I saw I was a skitterin' alley rat whose life was about to amount to nothin'. I was runnin' from death while I was careenin' right towards it. Ya' see, what oughta done put me six feet under had pulled me outta the sludge and drudgery a'life. And e'er since then, I've still been a fighter, but a fighter for life, justice, and equality, and that ain't never gonna change. So, if you've a problem, you call upon ole Ulysses D. L'Amour...and I'll aim to set it straight.